My Wife's Jeans

     We are moving.  Furniture is in, kitchen is full and dressers are all adorned with ornament and filled to the top.  However, my wife is missing her jeans.  All the boxes are unpacked and we have scoured our old place in a fevered search.  Yet, my wife is missing her jeans.  I understand the sock fairy in my dryer, taking a sock off as an offering to the sock gods somewhere but how does a whole pile of jeans make off?  And, what will she do come fall?

     I’ve never understood the mystery of missing stuff.  I’m organized.  I’m diligent and even may be considered compulsive at times.  I have a tidy desk, an empty back seat and yet we can’t find the power cord to our hand held sprayer on the farm.  I realize that may not seem a big deal, but it’s a mystery.  Why you may ask?  Simple, it’s the second power cord for the same sprayer in the last 12 months that again is missing.  And shocker…it’s a 140.00 dollar part.  The old raggedy pole we use to poke holes in dirt to plant seedlings, that has been duck taped time and time again, that leaves splinters in any users hands and which is a foot too short after numerous breakings isn’t missing.  No, it will never go missing.

Lani at Spy Rock.  Montebello, VA.  Photo By - Garth Woodruff

Lani at Spy Rock.  Montebello, VA.  Photo By - Garth Woodruff

     I’m starting to believe that these fairies, which make off with these precious items, are a little snobby.  They don’t take my bills; they don’t take our weeds or our Japanese Beatles.  They take one of our favorite socks ruining a perfect pair; entire rows of summer squash, the little twisty ties that we use to make bunches of kale and yes apparently, my wife’s entire drawer of jeans.

     Worse than that, I was told this week by my student assistant to keep it short.  So they have made off with my words as well.  If anyone in Berrien County runs across a fairy with an arm full of kale twisty ties and blue jeans can you please email me? - Garth